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Love versus Respect – a divorce guide for negotiation

Although divorce is one of the most stressful occurrences in a person’s life, you can make it

more manageable if you approach it the right way. To negotiate a divorce settlement, both

parties must recognize what matters to the other party. A man needs to feel respected, and a

woman needs to feel loved. The definition of respect differs between men. For some men, it

means not putting your family at risk, or in financial ruin as it does for me. This means that I

want my wife not to do things that risk our family’s safety or spend money that we do not have.

If my wife does this, I feel like she respects me. Alternatively, for my wife to feel loved she

needs words of appreciation, quality time, financial security, safety, gifts, and a need to feel

valued. This is what love means to her. Why does this matter? Most relationships fail because

each party does not understand what it means to love and respect each other because it was

never discussed. Simply understanding what it means to love and respect each other is not

enough to solve all martial issues, but it is a great way to negotiate a divorce settlement.

If you understand what it means to love and respect one another, even if you are not a good

romantic match, you can negotiate with one another in a respectful fashion. By prioritizing

each other’s needs and focusing on compromise a negotiated agreement is probable. Now, I

know what you are thinking, “if we were able to prioritize love and respect we would not be

getting a divorce in the first place.” However, that may or may not be true. As stated, love and

respect are not the only factors for a good romantic relationship. For many people, they come

to the realization that they are better as friends. At some point, you and your spouse did love

one another otherwise you never would have gotten married. Although you may not be in love

now, that is not the same as saying you do not have love for one another. While negotiating,

keeping these things in mind is extremely beneficial to reaching a settlement. This is extremely

important if you have minor children since children experience stress in a different fashion than

you do. Further, focusing on negotiation will significantly reduce your legal expenses. In some

cases, depending on how well you communicate you could eliminate your need for legal

counsel completely. For more information on divorce strategies, please call us at:

714.642.3838. Thank you!


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